Finding your passion with Shameless Mom host Sara Dean
Posted on March 02 2020
It’s one of the unspoken rules of motherhood: once your little one comes into the world you politely whisk your pursuits, hobbies and interests to the side. It’s normal says, Sara Dean, who created the top rated podcast, Shameless Mom Academy. “What’s dangerous is if we stay in this place too long,” she says.
Twice a week, the warmhearted and funny Dean takes on issues such as mom guilt, anxiety and imposter syndrome. Listeners walk away with inspiring messages and actionable steps. We had the pleasure of speaking with Dean (mom to 7-year-old Vinnie) about how moms can pursue their personal passions.
How can moms tap back into their passions or develop new ones?
There are so many ways. Here are a few:
- If you could talk about something ALL day, what would that be? Maybe it’s Real Housewives, maybe it’s photography, maybe it’s an aspect of your job that you really love. These will provide clues as to what ignites you.
- What are your true talents and gifts? There’s the term “zone of genius” that Gay Hendricks outlines in his book, The Big Leap. These are things that make use of your innate gifts and excite you.
As parents we spend a lot of time in our zone of competence, rather than our zone of genius. We might be really competent at changing diapers or folding laundry but it’s not something that excites us. Once you identify you zone of genius, find ways to spend more time there.
- Go to a bookstore. Where do you spend your time? We will naturally gravitate to where our interests lie. Look at how you can dive deeper into these subjects.
As moms, we’re used to putting others’ needs first. Why do we have such a hard time focusing on ourselves?
We need to poke holes in our excuses for not spending time on ourselves. Your dream might be to finish writing your book. What’s standing in your way? Often we create what I call “noble obstacles.” You think, “I can’t finish the book until the kids are older,” and then, “I’ll finish it once they’re out of the house.”
It’s not a lack of time that keeps us from our dreams. Our perfectionist tendencies and fear of failure keep us paralized. So we delay doing it, we stay small and we play safe.
How can we get better at prioritizing our pursuits?
If you have perfectionist tendencies, get comfortable with taking “imperfect action.” In Brooke Castillo’s book she writes about doing B- work. You might think, “there’s no way I could put B- work out into the world!” But as a high achiever your B- will look like an A to everyone else and you’ll get a chance to keep advancing your goal.
If you’re afraid of failure, look for mentors who have achieved similar things. You start to think, “Oh, I can do that too.” You can also think about the worst case scenario. “If this book is a flop, what would I do?” Usually the worst outcome is pretty manageable and the sad part comes with never having pursued it at all.
Sara, this is great! Thank you for fueling our readers with so much inspiration to pursue their passions.